My Liver Biopsy Journey

First of all, I wish I had results to report, but I don't.  I'm hoping to get them in by late tomorrow.  Until then I thought I'd share w/ you my liver biopsy journey at Seton Hospital on 7/18/11....

As I arrived at Seton Hospital, should I have been alarmed or concerned that Seton had NO record of me being a patient at their hospital???  Even after...

1.) Two trips to the ER

2.)  Being admitted as a patient in their hospital for 4 days for my infected port AND

3.)  The surgery that took place in their hospital to remove my infected port....

All w/in the last year.  Now, I know I didn't just dream up and imagine that all of these events occurred!  I mean they sure as hell found my file when they billed me for these events and I have a pretty impressive scar to show for at least one of these events.  But ya, for whatever reason, as of 7/18/11, there was NO record of me on file.  And this is how I started my day at Seton.  Things can only get better from here right??? 

After "re-establishing" myself as a patient, I started out in the "B Pod" where I changed clothes.  Their new summer collection was available which consisted of a drab smock (ties in the back of course), socks w/ non-stick soles, a breathable head cap, and some fashionable bracelets that reminded me of my "Under 18" and "Under 21" days.  Let me just tell you, I was rockin' the look!!  After changing, they had to draw my labs, insert an IV and go over any last minute, procedural paper work.  Thankfully Jason was able stay with me during this time. I spent about an hour and a half in the B Pod, however of that time it ended up taking 40 minutes and 3 nurses (they called in the Dream Team in for this task) to try to locate a vein big enough to draw blood for the lab work.  I know, I know, you're probably wondering why they couldn't just draw blood from my port.  That's what it's for, right?!?  Well, b/c my port is flushed w/ Heparin which is used to clean and prevent the port from clogging, the Heparin can skew the results/numbers of certain tests.  So this brings us back to my tiny little veins... thankfully Tom Rn came to the rescue and was able to draw my blood w/out perforating the vein.  When Tom Rn finished w/ successfully drawing my blood, the other nurses cheered him on and carried him on their shoulders off into the sunset.  Okay, made that last part up, but wanted to make sure you were still paying attention.

After hanging out in the B Pod, there was one last stop before surgery and thankfully Jason was able to accompany me before getting kicked out into the waiting room. I was wheeled into a Holding room which turned out to be an open room w/ 6 additional patients and I'd say a total of 15 Seton staffers... Nurses and those pretending to be nurses. First of all, as I entered the room I couldn't help but notice that all 6 spots available for patients was full. Did they take me to another holding room... Nooooooooo, of course not! I was left in the center of the room FACING all the other patients.  Patients that included a girl about my age who was crying, a woman who sounded like she was breathing through a snorkel full of water, another woman who kept asking about safety procedures and let's not forget the elderly man who appeared to be having muscle spasms that kept trying to disrobe because he was hot.  One might think this was a slight bit awkward... Nooooooooo, it wasn't a slight bit awkward! It was downright uncomfortable!  

My first reaction was WTF?!?  No, I'm sorry, I need a bigger font to emphasize this... WTF?!?   I was so overwhelmed I later found out from Jason that I had a goofy grin on my face trying to deal with the situation I was in. I remember nurses asking me questions and I just lied there in my rolling hospital bed with that goofy ass grin on my face nodding. I could have promised my first born child to someone and not have even known it.  And then my "knight in shining armor" walked in!!  Now let me interrupt my story here to explain what I mean... Jason is obviously my knight in shining armor and will always be, BUT considering that Jason could not accompany me into surgery, Jason was temporarily replaced by Jeffrey Rn. Sorry Jason, but I'm sure you understand after witnessing that holding room!!  You know what I'm talking about!!  So back to Jeffrey Rn... he is what I would stereotype as a "tough biker" with his hair in a long ponytail (rubber banded in several places) and of course a beard/mustache that would make Grizzly Adams proud.  His tough exterior came w/ a West Texas accent even though I found out later he was born in N. Carolina.  Jeffrey Rn saw that uncomfortable, anxious goofy grin on my face and asked if it would be alright if we waited in a more calming setting.  Hell yes Jeffrey Rn!!  Did we just become best friends?!?  At that moment I was picturing who would get the "be fri" and "st ends" part of the necklace.  And yes, I would like to also take this time to note that this new found BFF status was established before I even found out that Jeffrey Rn was in control of the drugs.

As Jeffrey Rn rolled me into the quiet surgery room which contained the CT Scanner, we chatted about all sorts of things... where we were from, what we did (he was in oil field work and he called himself a "rough neck" before becoming a nurse) and of course pets (I even had the chance to see a picture of his pit bull named Josey Wales).  Thank you Jeffrey Rn for taking my mind off the procedure and helping me forget the holding room I just came from!!

The procedure took about 30 minutes.  Two insertions were made with a needle below my right breast. The CT Scan was used as a "GPS Devise"... The needle went between 2 ribs and past a lung where they reached my liver. A totol of 10 samples were to be retrieved (5 from the area responding to the treatment and 5 from the area that was not responding).  There is at least one specific time when I remember waking up during the procedure.  NOT something I had intended to do.  The Surgeon was trying to get one of her last samples.... the pain, oh the excruciating pain.  I remember laying on my back trying to be as still as possible... tears streaming down my face.  Jeffrey Rn was by my side the whole time... I not only remember him offering me more drugs (HALLELUJAH!),  but he held my hand and wiped away my tears.

About 2:00 the procedure was finally done and I was wheeled into my recovery room where I was to be watched for 3 hours to make sure there wasn't any unexpected bleeding.  Thankfully Jason and Marion (the BEST mother-in-law on earth I might add) waited with me.  Unfortunately, my pain continued to get worse.  There was a sharp pain in my right side which continued to get worse every time a breathed in.  It was then when my nurse who was to look after me after my surgery entered my room (insert Jaws theme song) and we met who I will refer to as "The Nurse From Hell."  I'm not quite sure what set this nurse off (maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she looked in the mirror and didn't like the horns and tail she saw, I'm not quite sure).  But after expressing how uncomfortable I was, her "I don't care, I can't do anything about it attitude" did not sit well with the party in my room.  I started to cry uncontrollably and of course the crying wasn't helping the pain in my side.  I was miserable!  That's when Jason and Marion swooped in and saved the day.  The Nurse From Hell was banned from my room and from then on I had the most pleasant, caring nurses Seton Hospital could offer.  Go Figure!

We ended up leaving the hospital around 6:30 and boy, was I ready to get out of there!  I've been recovering ever since... extremely tired and still feeling discomfort in my side.  I have a feeling I'll be sore another day or two.  Hopefully fully recovered before our Colorado trip at the end of the week!  

That concludes my liver biopsy journey.  Time to sit back and anxiously await the results....