I'm Baaaaaaaaaaack

Thank you for all the prayers, good thoughts and good vibes!  I was released from the hospital this afternoon and I am comfortably back at home in Austin.   The surgery went well, but the pain meds are even better!  On that note, I'll fill you in on the details later.  Talk to ya soon!

Operation: Die Tumor Die!

When the time is right, the time is right!  Whether I'm having surgery in 2 months from now or 2 days from now, right?!  Well, I hate to rush things, but it's looking like it was "meant to be..." my liver surgery is in fact in 2 days from now.  Last week after receiving Dr. H's 2 Surgical Oncologist recommendations, I began the process of setting up my consultations.  I hate to admit it, but after meeting with one of the surgeons, my mind was instantly made up.  He was the one!  Dr. Kahlenberg gets the final rose!  The hoops and hurdles I was having to go through with setting up an initial consultation with Dr. Aloia was just too much.  I know that Dr. Aloia must be an amazing surgeon if he received a seal of approval from Dr. H, but over the last year I've also learned that your experience and interaction with the Doctor's staff and office should definitely be considered in your decision process as well.  

After meeting with Dr. Kahlenberg, I was sold.  I liked his demeanor, his confidence w/out being arrogant, he was informative, he was realistic with cautious optimism and I really appreciated the personal attention.  After several phone consultations... Dr. K with Dr. H, Dr. H with me and then me with Dr. K... we were all on the same page.  Not only did Dr. K have an opening this week, but it just so happens to be my week off on chemo.  Perfect timing!  I can have the surgery this week (having a higher WBC count than normal because it is my off week), recover and then continue on with chemo next week without skipping a beat.  Perfect!

So you might be asking, "what is it exactly that Dr. K will be doing?"  Well, it's a procedure called Radiofrequency Ablation (RFA).  Under local anesthesia, RFA is performed under image guidance (x-ray, CT or ultrasound).  A needle like RFA probe will be inserted in the tumor where radiofrequency waves will increase the temperature within the tumor resulting in TUMOR DESTRUCTION!!  Muahahahahahaha!!  

The procedure is scheduled for this Wednesday down in San Antonio.  I should be in and out of the hospital that day and after a few days of rest I should be back to my daily routine.  Now that's my kind of "surgery."  Unfortunately they weren't having any 2 for 1 deals to remove my ovaries at the same time (I need to talk to Groupon about this), but no big deal.  Getting my liver under control is our main priority so we'll deal w/ the ovaries at a later time.  

The crazy thing... I woke up on Sunday with "the pain" in my right side.  Yep, the liver quiver!!  The same pain that raised the flag that I had breast cancer... and this is no Pancho's mexican buffet!  To be honest, I'm not surprised at all.  If the chemo isn't able to reach this lesion AND the PET detected more uptake/cancer activity in this area... you know it's pissed.  I'm chalking this pain up to the tumor's F-E-A-R!!  This tumor knows that it's about to get a serious ass kickin'!!!  

Que Sera Sera

After meeting with Dr H, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. The PET results are in and even though we're still seeing 2 lesions on my liver, we have the disease under control everywhere else.  So here is the deal... We're seeing more "uptake" in the main lesion on my liver, meaning more cancer activity.  This of course isn't what we were hoping for, wanting or expecting, but there might be a reason for this.  Dr H thinks that necrosis may have destroyed blood vessels along its path of cancer cell destruction, ultimately preventing the drugs access to this specific tumor/area.  Well, if this chemo cocktail can't infiltrate that war zone, then who's to say another chemo cocktail will.  So the good news there... I'm not having to change drugs right now.  WHEW!   So where does that leave us?!?  Surgery!  This is ultimately where we were heading.  Even though the lesions didn't shrink like we were wanting them to, they're thankfully not any bigger and we still have the disease under control everywhere else.  There are 2 surgical oncologists that specialize in abdominal type surgeries that Dr H recommends. There's Dr. Aloia in Houston and Dr. Kahlenberg in San Antonio. I'm setting up a consultation with each Dr to discuss what my options are (removing the lesions, freezing the lesions, liver surgery in combo w/ removing my ovaries, etc).  So if anyone has any input on either of these 2 Drs, I'm all ears!  In the meantime, looks like I have a couple of road trips to make in my near future... Stay tuned for "the rose ceremony!"  Dr Aloia or Dr Kahlenberg... who will get the final rose?!?


Oh, and yes, I will continue on w/ the chemo cocktail that I am currently on until I have this surgery.  If anything, I may cut back on the Navelbine as the surgery gets closer (whenever that will be) because that particular drug effects my WBC count so much.  And believe me, I'll need all the WBC I can take for a quick and easy recovery!!

This has been an exhausting last couple of days... this morning I woke up w/ Doris Day's Que Sera Sera stuck in my head.  It's hard to accept that whatever will be (will be), but I think this surgery is a step in the right direction to kicking this cancer's ass!  Que Sera Sera!

P.S.  I thought it was appropriate to change up the lyrics a bit... Please sing along and enjoy!  ;)

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I have cancer, will I be Stage IV
Here's what she said to me.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

When I was young, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have chemo, day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

Now I have nieces of my own
They ask their aunt, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
I tell them tenderly.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be. 

"The Waiting is the Hardest Part"

"The waiting is the hardest part"... ya, ya, ya, you're preaching to the choir Tom Petty!!!

Still no results on the PET (and yes, I've left messages w/ my Drs office).  I can't tell you how frustrated, annoyed, pissed, scared, anxious and a mess I've been the last few days.  In the past while waiting on results, I've felt these emotions to a certain degree, but this time around it's different.  This time it's worse!!  We're just SO terribly close to where we need to be... one manageable lesion on my liver!  That's not too much to ask, is it?!?  I was telling someone earlier that I'm getting to the point where I don't want to know.  I don't want to deal with the possibility of having to change treatments because my chemo cocktail is no longer working.  I've got these side effects down... I don't want to deal with any new ones!  And really, there's nothing I can do at this point, but wait for the results.  In the meantime, I'll continue to work on finding the on/off switch to my brain... these sleepless nights are doing a number to the bags under my eyes!  I think I've aged 10 years in the last few days!  ;)

As usual, I'll keep you posted when I hear something...

Not so STAT

What a let down!  My PET scan was suppose to be this afternoon, but I received a call from Tx Oncology telling me that the PET machine was down and we needed to reschedule.  I can't believe I abstained from carbs yesterday and fasted for the majority of today FOR NOTHING!  Grrrrrrrrrr!  Oh well, at least I was warned before drinking the barium AND at least I wasn't in the machine when it went down.  Now THAT would NOT have been cool!

PET scan is scheduled for next Thursday.  Time to load up on carbs before next week!!  ;)

Up with Necrosis, Down with Cancer

Well, unfortunately the results from the CT scan aren't telling us much.  Or let me rephrase that, they're not telling us as much as we'd like to know.  This is the deal... comparing this last weeks CT scan results and my last PET scan results is like comparing apples to oranges.  The CT scan does not reflect how active the areas on my liver are.  A lesion on my liver may appear bigger than the last CT scan I had (which was back in January), but that's not necessarily a bad thing.  Stick with me here... The bigger lesion may actually be showing tissue necrosis (death of cells).  Obviously that would be BAD ASS!  At this point there is absolutely no reason to believe that the lesions have increased in a "bad way" (meaning the cancer has spread).  But to be absolutely sure, Dr. H wants a PET scan STAT!  Normally insurance wouldn't approve a PET this soon, but Dr. H put up a good fight.  My PET is scheduled for this Thursday.  

UP WITH NECROSIS!  DOWN WITH CANCER!

Salud!

After a nice loooooong 3 day work week, what do you want more than anything to relax and take the edge off ?!?  How about a nice chilled Barium martini?!?  Okay, not my first beverage of choice, but I've started prepping for my CT scan tomorrow morning.  I'll keep you posted when I find out the results.  Until then, SALUD!!!